Good News

Here is an update from my sister and a few pictures. Please note the smile on both boys' faces & the fact that Caden's hair is growing back nicely! This was a good way for me to start my day.

"Well we made it!!! We are home and it feels so good! Caden was so excited to be back in the home he knows. The boys had space to play and run around. It was like Christmas with all the stuff they had not seen for almost 8 months. Caden had his line removed a week ago and he got the all clear to swim from the doctor today. So we will be taking a trip to the pool either Friday or Saturday. He has not been able to have water on his chest for over 7 months so oddly this should be a treat for him. My mom was able to come up for a week with me to help get readjusted, but sadly she will be leaving Sunday. :( It will be strange not having her around! Babysitter's are expensive! Hahaha...just kidding Mom! He had labs done today and his counts are not coming up as fast as I hoped. All in good time. He should be ready to go back into childcare in 3 weeks. That means I can get back to work and I am actually happy about that! Life is good, God is good, and my baby is in remission and getting stronger every day! We have gone to the park, done some shopping, and we went to Clunie Lake on Fort Richardson today. We still can't do too much. Caden's immune system is still suppressed, so we do lots of hand washing and Purell!!!! We made it back in time for Cameron to start 2nd grade with all of his friends! He is doing very well. He is in the advanced reading group and that is good confirmation that he did not skip a beat! My life has been full of blessings and I am very thankful! Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers! We hope you will continue them. If he is able to make it 5 years in remission then his odds are much better. So hopefully we will not be forgotten. Love and Appreciation Always, Schelly, Cameron and Caden"

My personal thanks to all of you who took the time to pray and send your well wishes. Please keep them coming.

First Two Days

Well, I am amazed that two days filled to near completion with back to back meetings can make me as tired as I have been. I am exhausted! They have been informative and interesting though and honestly parts of the process that I didn't know have been beaten like a dead horse. It is valuable experience and I am excited for school to start on Monday!

Yesterday and Tomorrow

Yesterday, my kids, Julia, her kids, and I went to the Ludwigsburg Palace (Yes people it's a palace not a castle) and had a genuinely good time. The children were VERY well behaved and the tour guide even complimented them on their behavior after everything was said and done. They were beaming from the kudos. Those of you know Maddy, know this to be true :) When I went many years ago, we were too late for the Enlish tour and were too new to understand even basic German. It was VERY interesting to me this time.

Today, I did a whole lot of nothing. Really that's not true because I cleaned, did laundry and took care of Maddy who wasn't feeling all that hot. She is feeling a bit better now though. Truthfully, I think she was just a bit worn out from yesterday.

Tomorrow, Back To School--Teacher's first day back is tomorrow! I am excited to help Melissa set up the classroom and begin lesson planning. I am excited to see the light at the end of my NEVER ENDING educational saga. I am so excited and not at all nervous! That is probably due to the fact that I have been a substitute at RB Elementary for two years and a parent to students there for over five. I think it may also be the fact that I really like Mrs. Taylor and I hope to learn something from her having been a teacher in California. Here's to a good first day.

The Day After

OK, let's face it...school shopping for three kids at one time is no picnic. First let me say that all three kids were very well behaved during the ride up there, the extra stop in Mannheim, and the ride home. They even had to wait for a late lunch until after we finished shopping at kaiserslautern. Sierra and Madison LOVED picking out shoes and clothes and even trying them on. They are so MY girls. Little Michael hated the trying on part and made it seem like we were torturing him-especially when we made him try on multiple styles of jeans in the same size. Try explaining to a boy that different styles/designers fit differently. He just didn't get it or didn't want to get it. He made it through OK though.

Now for the bad part. I woke up Saturday morning feeling like someone was twisting a knife in my stomach and a mild fever. I mean I felt horrible! Michael told me that I could stay home and he would take the kids; however, I just didn't think it was right for him to take all three with him and do all that shopping. Let's be clear on just how much he HATES shopping...I mean hates it. So I went. I also know that school starts on the 25th so we really can't put it off any longer.

I slept nearly all the way there and arrived there feeling worse than when we left the house. Then we made our way through a couple of hours shopping and took the kids to lunch at around two pm. We got most of the clothing for the girls and some for Michael at the first stop. We left and Michael decided to stop in Mannheim "on the way" home. I told him that was fine. I slept all the way there and had a higher fever when we arrived. Although we got everything we needed there, I still had to use the basket as a walker and felt like I had been gut punched. We finished up there and drove home about $1,000 poorer, mom feeling sick, tired kids, and dad holding it all together. I swear he gets the "Great Dad" award for yesterday. I slept all the way home, woke up when he needed me to hand him my ID right before the gate, helped carry in the stuff, took a NyQuil/Theraflu Bedtime cocktail that he gave me and slept from about 7pm last night until 9am this morning without interruption. I love him for helping me do that and the kids for being quiet enough while they bathed and got ready for bed.

Dinner With Friends

Today was a rainy, chilly day just begging for me to cook. Julia felt the same so we decided to have dinner at my house. Julia made Meatballs with a bbq sauce to be served over rice, a broccoli cheese dish that I loved and will be making again, and a chocolate yummy that we all loved. Supposedly there is peanut butter fudge at the house, but I'll believe that when it is in my belly :) I made homemade chicken pot pie, and green bean casserole. I didn't eat the former, but the latter turned out very good. I am ashamed to say that I ate myself sick on the casserole and the broccoli dish.

In my defense, I don't eat the meat dishes so it's ok right? Ok, not really and I am paying for it with a sore tummy as I type. When I was getting the table ready, Anna came over with her daughter Nikki and ended up staying for dinner too. Normally, that might have bothered me because it was unexpected, BUT it really didn't because there was SSSSOOOO much food. I had also invited Cindy with her family, but she loves her neighbors more than me so she probably went across the street.

LAUGH CINDY YOU KNOW IT'S FUNNY! There was so much left over, we all wished that Cindy would have come too. We did however end up having a nice relaxing evening just eating and hanging out with friends. Tomorrow we will be taking the kids to Kaiserslautern to shop for school clothes. We will pick up a few things at least because I would like to get most of it for cheaper online. I'll let you all know how that goes.

Completed Tattoo

Here is a finished picture of my new tattoo next to the one without color--I couldn't find a complete before shot. As I said yesterday, all of the four that came together so nicely to make up the ONE have special meaning. These were all carefully thought out and designed special. They were brought as concepts and drawings to Frank and because they are hand drawn, I hope that I never see a duplicate as long as I live.

Left Shoulder Butterfly: seen as the personification of a person's soul; whether they be living, dying, or already dead. One Japanese superstition says that if a butterfly enters your guestroom and perches behind the bamboo screen, the person whom you most love is coming to see you. In some old cultures, butterflies also symbolize rebirth into a new life after being inside a cocoon for a long period of time. grace, beauty, serenity.

Right Shoulder Hummingbird: Messenger, stopper of time. Hummingbird represents optimism and sweetness. Being able to roll with the punches is an attribute of Hummingbird. It is also a symbol of love, joy, and beauty. The hummingbird is also able to fly backwards, teaching us that we can look back on our past. But, this bird also teaches that we must not dwell on our past; we need to move forward. When the hummingbird hovers over flowers while drinking nectar, we learn that we should savor each moment, and appreciate the things we love. Also, my Pop had hummingbird feeders all over his porch before he left us, and he loved to watch those little guys fly all the time. They were special to him and he was special to me so I used it in a tattoo in honor of him. Finally, one of the things that I have read is that hummingbirds are small, surprisingly strong, intelligent, diligent, fiercely territorial and loyal.

The English Words:
Love--

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
Faith--
Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.

Large Chinese Writing/Middle:
Wisdom--

the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
Intellect--

the power or faculty of the mind by which one knows or understands, as distinguished from that by which one feels and that by which one wills; the understanding; the faculty of thinking and acquiring knowledge. The capacity for thinking and acquiring knowledge, esp. of a high or complex order; mental capacity.

This tattoo was carefully placed directly between the two on my shoulders because of the fact that whom a person (ME) chooses to love and put faith in should be carefully balanced by wisdom and intellect. Some of you know that I have failed in the past and the pain it has caused me. I will try much harder and be much more careful in the future.

Koi Fish: one of the most popular and beautiful of Japanese tattoo symbols – a beauty which belies its symbolic meaning. Although Chinese in origin, the carp is now widely celebrated in Japan. It is said to climb waterfalls bravely, and, if caught, it lies upon the cutting board awaiting the knife without a quiver, not unlike a samurai (warrior) facing a sword. This theme dates back to ancient China, where a legend tells of how any koi that succeeded in climbing the falls at a point called Dragon Gate (on the Yellow River) would be transformed into a dragon. Based on that legend, it became a symbol of worldly aspiration and advancement. In tattoo imagery, especially in combination with flowing water, it symbolizes much the same: courage, the ability to attain high goals, and overcoming life's difficulties. Also, a koi swimming upstream represents the ability to face adversity, while the koi swimming downstream represents having the ability to conquer adversity.

Chinese Writing in Koi:
Left=Joy--

the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation. A source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated. The expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety. A state of happiness or felicity

Right=sorrow--

distress caused by loss, affliction, disappointment, etc.; grief, sadness, or regret. A cause or occasion of grief or regret, as an affliction, a misfortune, or trouble. The expression of grief, sadness, disappointment, or the like.

The meaning of those with regard to JennyBean is self explanatory to those who know me.

NOTE:
I personally love tattoos and think they are beautiful. I think they should have meaning to the person on whose body they are placed, but know that is not always the case. I am a bit of a tattoo snob now and hate the one on my ankle as it is "flash/wall art" that has no special meaning other than I got in while I was in MP school. I will never get another piece that has no personal meaning again. I love the new one so much not just because I think it is pretty, but also because the whole thing is an artistic representation of what I have come through in my life (some things with scars both emotional and physical) and what I will most likely have to go through in my future. It is a symbol of both what I was, what I am, and what I hope to become. I think that I am finished getting tattoos now...ONE NEVER KNOWS :) I mean really, there is still space on my back you know. Yes mom...it's pretty and it's beautiful artwork and I know you wish it wasn't a permanent part of my body. You aren't the only mom who hates tattoos :)

Good News

There is power in prayer and well wishes. I have to say a special thank you to all of the people in my life or the lives of those who know me for taking the time to pray for Caden. It has not been in vain--but then prayer and faith never really are. Please read the update that I woke up to read this morning. It's good to start your day with a smile.

"It seems like we have been here an eternity. We have lived an entirely different life here in the last 7 1/2 months. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting... We have been through the unimaginable. It was not in vain. We found out today that Caden is officially in remission!!!!! That's right...CANCER FREE!!!!! I pray it stays that way.We will be heading back to Anchorage very soon and he will continue the last stage of recovery in his own home! Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers! We did it! "

The image is Chinese character for double happiness...I thought it was appropriate.

Update

Quick update on my sweet Caden from my mother. I forgot to post it the other day because I SUCK!

"Well his counts are up high enough they are doing the bone marrow aspiration and lumbar puncture now. This will tell us if he is cancer free or not. We should have the LP results back tomorrow but the aspiration will take longer (not sure when yet). I will send another update as soon as we know the results!"

I also wanted to say that I had my tattoo finished today by Frank at Get Lucky Tattoo so far I think it looks great but I will wait to post a picture of it tomorrow after I shower. Right now it is still under plastic, but when I wash it and put the special cream on it, I will get a picture to post the finished product. I personally love it, and think that Frank is brilliant. I am biased though because all of them have special meaning to me and putting them together as one illustrates and closes a chapter in my life that I can call complete. I will write more about the meaning when I post the picture tomorrow.

Party, Party, Party

Today was Maddy's party with more than just the five of us. She got some really cool presents and loved every one of them. She enjoyed having friends to join her too as normally people we know are visiting the states when it is time for her birthday. Most of you know though that she is my only child who has gotten to celebrate her birthday with MY WHOLE family not once but twice. We had a good day and a fun little party even though someone (no names here Julia) told me that because I had no balloons, games, or party favors it was more like a playdate than a birthday party.

Maddy wanted peanut butter chocolate cupcakes so that is what I made. She invited all the people she wanted to invite, and I put 11 (10 years and one to grow on) candles on one cupcake. I know it is crazy, but I thought it was amusing...especially because I used the ones you can't blow out. :) Jenny made a funny. I thought so anyway. I am attaching a photo collage so that those of you who couldn't be here can see a bit of it for yourselves. PS: JennyP the M and the embroidery are already on the wall and she LOVES them because they are grown up type objects. I mean really, she is ten now :)

Maddy Is Ten

Madison is officially ten! I can hardly believe it. I found myself thinking "man that is half way to 20." I know that this is crazy to think of but it's true. She truly had a great week at craft camp and sweet, sweet Mary had all the kids call her princess Madison today because it was her birthday. NOTE TO MARY: you didn't know it at the time, and may not know it now but you really made her whole day. I was telling my friend Julia about it over the phone and when she came over later she called Madison Princess Maddy. Her whole face lit up and she said, "Miss Julia, everyone has been calling me that all day!" Score one for Julia! We had a great day actually. Madison could have had anything she wanted for dinner, and all she chose was pizza, salad ("so you can eat too mommy") and all of us at the dinner together. Those of you who know the job, know that this doesn't happen that often as Michael doesn't know what time he will be home some nights. He did come through tonight. We all sat for dinner and then the kids got a sneak preview of the cupcakes for tomorrow. The family sang happy birthday to her and then we had a family movie night. We let her open two of her presents from us tonight as well. I know it's not very exciting, but it's a day that makes me smile because it made my baby smile--as evidenced by the final picture with her smile.

A Page Or Two

I have been busy creating pages of different times, with different pictures, of my own babies as well as babies of friends. I hope you all like them. One is from Emily's Birthday, One is 4th of July Fest, and one is my babies sleeping. I love them all for different reasons. There has really been nothing to write about, so I haven't been as faithful about posting. I don't have really cool things that I have made to post, but the girls are still very happy with craft camp at the PCM store. They have NOTHING but nice things to say about Mary (the lady who is teaching the classes for those of you who don't know her) and definitely talk about how much patience she has with some of the more "challenging" children. Kudos to you Mary. You know you have done something great when kids say it because normally kids are brutally honest. Maybe tomorrow after the last class I will post a picture of all the things that they have made during the week. I especially enjoyed the tie-dyed t-shirts and so did the girls.

Another Update

Here is another update on Caden and his saga. Thanks to all of you who make the time to keep my family in your prayers. I don't have a picture to post, BUT you all know how bad that will drive me nuts.

As you all know we are out of the hospital. Caden is recovering at the RMH and we are little by little getting him out in the fresh air. His counts have been going up and down, but they are at a decent count right now. Unfortunately not enough to do the bone aspiration. That has been postponed until next Monday, tentatively. Which means we wait some more to see if he is officially in remission. I am scared because it is taking a while for his marrow to recover and just when we think his counts are coming up and we can do the procedure, they drop again. He did however have his final CAT scan today and his lungs look pretty good. Most of the nodules are cleared up. I think more then anything we all want to be home. It is so frustrating sitting and waiting. I am so anxious to be back in my own house and in my normal routine. It is at times like this when I am feeling really down and wondering if this will ever end, when I have to remind myself that Caden is out and hopefully on the road to recovery. I ask for continued prayers and good thoughts for healing and a safe trip home soon.

What to Say--Much Ado About Nothing

Today the girls went to craft camp at the PMC store with Mary. They had a great time too except for one child who made them uncomfortable. They did tell me that Mary was really nice to them and they think she is really nice. Today they made pottery and tomorrow they will tie dye shirts. They are excited. I spent the time they were inside just spending money at the PX on things that I don't need. I won't be doing that tomorrow. Instead I will go visit Lianne at her house. That should be fun.

I was telling Mary about a really pretty picture that JennyP took of her with her son at Emily's Birthday party and promised her that I would attach them to a post today. I really have nothing else to write about because I still don't know any results from Caden's lab and cat scan today. I can say that I am VERY glad it rained today so I don't have to go out and water the flowers :)

Glass of Wine with th Girls

Happy August first to all! Tonight the girls are having a get together for a little wine, no children, and no husbands. Sound relaxing? Really I think it will be and I am looking forward to the time to just chill and take advantage of a little break. I'll be honest and say that I wish JennyP could be here too, but she lives too far away and the rest of us live within walking distance and can stumble home if necessary. Since there will be five of us and three bottles of wine, it shouldn't come to stumbling :) Just a whole bunch of sitting around talking and playing some stupid board games like outburst etc. Fun Stuff!